Self-Portrait as Fittonia

Late afternoon. The soil soaks up what

it is given and the leaves start to stretch

towards the sun. I confess I don’t know

a damn thing about how to be a wild thing

thriving day in day out. I walked through

life thinking of my inability to die despite

having tried, my body a bed of wilted roots

that refused to wither. No one said I was

starved for water and I learned early not

to ask for too much. What I remember

about invincibility is that there was never

a moment I believed the world wouldn’t

cut through me. We all shrivel in defence

of neglect and in defence of myself I have

learned to curl inward and survive on scraps

of light. What do I do now that I have stayed

alive, now that I have pushed past all the dirt.

Can I live with my thirst. I’ve lived through the

worst. Oh stubborn handful heart still growing

toward something unnamed. Loosen your hurt.

T. De Los Reyes is a Filipino poet and author of And Yet Held (Bull City Press, 2024). Her poems have previously appeared or are forthcoming in Epiphany, Pleiades, Waxwing, Bellingham Review, Frozen Sea, Shō Poetry Journal, among others. She is the designer of Nowruz Journal and the founder of Read A Little Poetry. She lives and writes in Manila, Philippines. Read more of her work at tdelosreyes.com.